Monday, 22 August 2016

Why It's Important to Make Time for Your Friends When You Are In A Relationship

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Why is it important to make time for your friends when you are in a relationship? If you’ve found that special someone, it’s an incredible time for you. You feel as if you’ve got the perfect all-rounder person. The one who makes you laugh, the one you can tell all your secrets to, the person who you can bounce ideas off and the one you can go to when you need a shoulder to cry one. And don’t forget they are the one who will make you feel a-mazing if you know what I mean.

Being in a relationship is a fantastic feeling, and one that can become all too consuming. The way they make you feel is so good, other people start to take a back seat. You take longer to text back, you put off friendship dates for hot dates and soon your closest friends are more like long distance.

Being in a relationship can kill off your friendships if you don’t work on them. 99% of the time it’s completely unintentional, but what happens when you have a fight with your other half, or they don’t share your love of chick lit films? Who do you turn to then?  That's why its important to make time for your friends when you are in a relationship.


I will admit I’ve made my mistakes and let friendships slide. It’s especially hard when my boyfriend was actually my friend for 4 years prior to us dating (yes he made it out of the friend zone after 4 years) but I realise I don’t want to let this happen again. Which is why I recently booked a girly staycation for me and my bestie Helen, at The Mandeville Hotel. It is the perfect opportunity to spend some quality time together, especially if you live with your other half and can’t exactly have sleepovers anymore. Doing this, inspired me to write this article and put together a how to balance  your SO and BF and why you need friends when you are in a relationship.

Boyfriend/Girlfriend doesn’t equal best friend

OK so yes my boyfriend was my friend before we added the boy prefix to it, but ignore that for a moment. He still can’t give me everything a friend can. He can’t satisfy my need discussing the pros and cons of spanx, nor can I discuss eyebrow contouring with him because frankly he doesn’t give a shit. And that is totally fine. That’s what my friends are for. No matter how compatible you are with your other half, they will never be 100% in line with everything you like and feel. So having other friends to fill these gaps will leave you feeling more fulfilled and happy, and less likely to take it out on your other half when he can’t correctly identify the correct lipstick to match your skin tone.

Friends maintain your independence.

Everyone knows that couple that has sort of merged into one single identify blob. And how much do we eye roll when you ask “Do you want to hang out this weekend?” and they reply “Let me just check with [other half]”.  Spending all of your time with you other half can lead you to lose a part of yourself. Who were you when it was just you? What made you tick? What did you love doing, with no one else to judge you? Being you is what made them fall in love with you in the first place. Spending time with friends give you the ability to maintain your independence and realise you are a strong person with tons of interests outside of your relationship, which in the end will make you a happier individual.

Friends make you happier, which makes your sex drive better.

And well we all want that right? Maintaining friendships with people who make us feel good about ourselves is a huge stress reliever. They make us feel happier, healthier, have a better relationship with our body and self-esteem which all are factors in our sex drive. High self-worth, the better feel about having sex with our partners. So next time your boyfriend moans at you being on the phone to long to Kate, tell him she’s helping him get more sex. He won’t complain again.


So what can you do?

Well I’ve found arranging friend date nights to be the best. Ocne a week set up dedicated friend time where you go out with them for a good proper catch up away from the other half. If you want to go one up on this, try a girly night away in your own city (I'm not saying do this once a week though- might be an expensive date).

Me and Helen decided to escape boys and have a girls weekend at The Mandeville hotel. I live with Dan so having girly night in is impossible, so staying at a hotel is the perfect way to reconnect with your friend. What could be better than ordering room service in bed, snuggled up in your jammies, putting the world to right with your closest pal? I miss those days of sleepovers. So this is just like an adult version. 


The Mandeville is a gorgeous boutique hotel in Marylebone, right around the corner from Oxford Street, making it ideal for a girlie day of shopping and drinks too.

The hotel is an eclectic mix of bold prints, random artifacts and some fairly interesting features. But it all works rather well together. Quirky is an understatement when the upstairs wallpaper is pink velvet!


They have recently done a collaboration with the famed French haute couture designer Christian Lacroix, who designed 4 of the hotel rooms. Each room is slightly different, but tells a story about Christian’s life on the French Riviera.


Me and Helen were booked into the “Classic Lacroix” room. Granted the room was on the small side for the amount it costs, but it was very bright and airy. The style is classic, romantic but with modern minimalism hints. It felt rather like we had walked into a French hotel room. I also really want to buy striped lamps now.


If a full stay at the hotel is a little out of your budget for now, they have a great restaurant which is open to the public. It's call Reform Social and Grill  and is really the epitome of the classic British dining room. Big roomy leather sofas, high back booths and all the British classics on the menu you could ask for.  So grab your friend and pop down for a weekend brunch or I've since seen they have a Yorkshire Pudding menu which well in my eyes can't be missed.


Spending quality time away from other half distractions was the perfect way to connect and make the most of my friendship. We even filmed a new video together for my YouTube, which I promise will be coming soon, now I'm back from Sri Lanka. With a friend you can gossip about those stupid things that make you giggle, discuss awkward topics that you just need to know the answer to, and be yourself when sometimes you might be too self conscious around you other half (especially if its a new relationship).

Treasure your relationship with your other half, but also treasure your relationship with your friends too. Friends don't hinder your relationship and they aren't some opposing force. Together they both make you happy and strong, so pick up the phone now and give your bestie some love.  Its always important to make time for your friends when you are in a relationship.
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3 comments

  1. Lauren, never more have I realised how important friends are to a relationship. Recently I'm experiencing a renaissance of getting out there, smiling and making friends, trying to meet people in real life rather than just on social media. It's my newly discovered key to making life with one's BF/GF/Wife/Husband better than ever. - and then your post pops up, I'm glad you agree.
    (Oh, and nice hotel too!)

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  2. that jumping on bed pic :)
    keep in touch
    www.beingbeautifulandpretty.com
    www.indianbeautydiary.com

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